Search This Blog

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Why did it have to happen in Therapy?

An anniversary is nearing which I wish would go away
Memories of my upset are drawing pictures of that day
A year has disappeared and yet I still cannot believe
That such had actually happened: I'm finding it hard to breathe

I think of my dear angel: how she's helped me through the year
So why does this painful memory keep on trying to interfere.
Could it be because that someone was given the right to see
My deep and hidden feelings because I trusted in her degree

Why would she ever had led me with so much skill at hand
I keep on asking myself because I still don't  understand
I've tried and tried to forget it but my mind won't even rest
Because when I had chosen her: I thought I was choosing the best

I  had opened to her my woundedness and let her see inside
She told me "we were in this together" then it all up and died
No time was there for preparations:it ended  so  ruthlessly
perhaps she has wounded me more than anyone in my own history?

So I've written out my every feeling about that dreadful  day
Hoping that by calling it out it may somehow go away
By releasing outside the facets that made up this memory
I'm hoping others will be selective when choosing therapy


  1. You are so brave Joy. You inspire me to address issues that have happened to me with physicians I've trusted. I've never spoken to anyone about it. I admire your bravery. I don't know how people of professions can use their positions to hurt the very ones they took oath to help. I may never be as brave as you are in openly speaking but I will try to write about my experiences in my written journal because of you. I pray that you continue to heal and I'm just so thankful that the truth came to light and you got away from this situation. Be encouraged, things will only get better for you. I do believe this. Stay safe, be blessed...RiRi

    1. Dear Riri I am so sorry tht you have had to suffer at all and especially sorry that you suffered at the hands of physicians.. We can never grasp why people promise to heal than inflict deeper wounds than what already exist.. its good to speak out loud your feelings even if no one is around.. so you hear it that it happen. i cannot get over it yet. .that a professional hurt me.. but then again . my ex boss was suppose to be a professional...people of the church were suppose to be professional.. seems people we want to trust. .have an advantage.. and its sad they abuse the trust we put in them

    2. ps. i love you Riri..let us support one another as we try to heal from all the nonsense in our life.. it wont be quick but we are not alone..

      Love joy

  2. You know Joy I have pushed back those men for so long. Reading your poem brought them forward and I wanted to run and hide because of shame. I remember one of the physicians name but my memory won't allow me to recall the other one's name. This poem was meant to do just what it did. I have to confront what happened to me and how it made me feel. Why did I run from it and why the shame? I know the answers already. None of it was my fault. Bad doctors who tried to take advantage of a young girl in need of medical attention. We are getting through it Joy. God is with us every step of the way. I love you and I pray that you continue to post what The Holy Spirit put in your heart. Thank you again for your bravery and your love...RiRi

  3. Therapists/doctors have such a position of trust and power. They are given a priviledge position when someone trusts in them but sadly they can abuse their position, power and trust. This can cause such pain and damage because a person chooses to try and trust again and it is broken. I am sorry this has happened and I know the pain of this to.

  4. Hi .. Anonymous.. am so glad that my own journey is helping's not easy or me but I am making it. It is so much harder having had someone really hurt me after I had place so much trust in her.. its not a physical but psychological and mental hurt that keeps playing back on occasion. Luckily I have a new person helping me but her job is so much harder because of my fear of havnig a repeat.. I believe GOd is with us.

  5. Dear Behind the Smile is truly hard or me .even though my newest counselor has done nothing but good things for me. I keep trying though.


Thank you for your comment.. you are dear to me.. I will reply to this comment