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Saturday, September 15, 2012

Please, stop, mommy...

My pillow is drenched with teardrops that you have caused me to shed
You wounded my fragile body and have put distrust inside my head
I'm shivering as I struggle to find some quiet moments to sleep
I'm thinking about you mommy and these scars that go so deep.

When I'm wakened by the sunlight there are wounds all over me
I'm wondering how much longer they can pretend that they don't see
Day after day I'm having to  silence all the hurts I hold inside
I go to school and am wondering if anyone sees what I have to hide.

I'm wanting so much to tell you how much you've hurt me so
But I'm fearing your angry wrath so I am having to let it go
Please pity me my dearest mommy:  stop this beating up on me
I'm your little child though you may never have wanted me to be.


  1. Hello Joy, this sounds much like my experience with my mother. I'm so sorry that you have this story to tell. May I ask do you have flashes of it in your night sleep? I do have flashes, nightmares of my parents and grandparents sexually abusing me. My parents didn't want me. This poem brings back some of the questions I often wondered. Did they see me?Did they hear me crying for help? Letting go is such a important part of my healing journey. Whatever the answers, there is no excuse for what they did and it was never my fault. Thank you Joy for sharing this personal part of yourself. I'm so blessed by your art. May you continue to heal and embrace the abundant life God has for you...RiRi

  2. Dear Riri .. it always warms my heart to see you stop by..but I don't like that you have suffered so much. I am sorry that you had known the abuses ..such terrible ones :( I do have the flashes in my dreams.. I guess because the hurts caused from that time were so deep .. they are still seeking an exit ..Perhaps once they have come out enough they will stop.. In our sleep we have no control of what comes to us .. it happens.. I am trying hard to heal . but the nightmares are still paying me a visit at least once a week.

  3. PS..Dear Riri . I keep you close through prayer.. we will make it one step at a time


  4. Such deep hurt is done when those who are supposed to love and protect us hurt us the most. Healing is never easy. Hugs.

  5. Thank you Joy. I never saw it as seeking an exit. Thank you so much for this enlightenment. Thank you for your prayers. I do pray for you often. I love you Joy and appreciate your love for me. I hope you have more and more pleasant night rest. I'm sure God is with us. Sending you the biggest hug...RiRi


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