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Thursday, January 5, 2012

What was in my oatmeal?

For some a bowl of oatmeal is a very healthy way
To lower one's cholestoral and begin the day
But today my  bowl of oatmeal was triggering as can be
It flashed back New Jersey; I relived a memory

I thought time had  healed me but quickly began to see
In my morning bowl of oatmeal a painful reality
Every bite I was taking was creating a  replay
Of the bitter cold apartment where I was made to stay

Something in the oatmeal was triggering to me
And I found myself shaking terrified as can be
I couldn't understand it but soon was able to see
Images from the past: present in my memory

I couldnt finish my oatmeal I had to walk away
I was shaking, I was crying: reliving an awful day
My PTSD isn't over; it remains a  mystery
It's quiet and unseen till triggers set it free




  1. Hello Joy,
    How have you been?..Happy New Year to you..I need someone I can trust.I'm fighting thoughts of suicide and it's hard. I'm trying desperately not to dissociate, to stay with the pain that I'm feeling but I feel I'm losing ground..So i ask that you pray for my strength to hold on to what i do know and that is the truth that God loves me...Thank you for your prayer..Love RiRi

  2. Dear Riri. .

    Am here and though I am battling my own demons.. am here for you .. my sweet friend.. I am praying and asking Jesus to please help my dear friend Riri.. I know you have been gone for some time. Please know your friendship means so very much to me. I would be so lost were something to happen to you. I cannot take away your pain but I can be here with you. I know Jesus is with us. with me and you .. He will help us. This is a bad stormy time but the Sun is still shining. its behind the clouds..we just have to wait for them to move away. You are dear to me but much dearer to God. .please Riri .. stay with me here.. You are my dear dear friend.. I know God loves you .. you have so much love for Him.... love you Riri am here .. even in my littleness .. wanting to help you.


  3. Thank you Joy,
    I went and took a shower, somehow it's the only private place i can get when i don't want anyone to see my tears. Thank you so much for your love and prayers..It seems i have no space. It seems i can not breathe. But I know deep within God is with us and He's holding our hands in this hurricane on the sea.Your thoughts of me are dear to my heart and i do believe that you care.Sometimes the little can mean so very much. Thank you for being the hand of God reaching out to help me. Your littleness was GREATNESS today...Heaven continue to shine it's peace and love into your beautiful soul...One moment at a time, that's what I'll continue to take as I look for the Sun to arise... RiRi

  4. My dear Riri..

    Praise be to God you are finding strength in all your brokenness to keep looking up .. i am blessed with a wonderful T.. I wish you would know her. I have had many a cloudy day but she helps me see beyond them .

    I have written tonights poem for you but it is also for me. am always here for you..even if I am not the wisest person in the world. I am always faithful to my friends .. you are loved by God the angels and me. .please know this always.

    love and prayers..xoxo



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